Increments

Increments
by Me

It started so small, so innocuously.

There was something I wanted badly,

And I knew it was bad for me.

For days I struggled to decide whether I should pursue it.

What would I have to give up in order to have this?

I would have to sacrifice something dear to me.

But I really wanted it.

Could taste it.

And it wouldn't be around forever.

It was fickle, and fleeting,

And could be gone before my next thought.

The thought of not having it was too much to bear,

So I caved and accepted what I told myself was a very small sacrifice.

I could live with it this one time.

But, as is often the case with things like this,

Once was not enough.

I gave in again, telling myself that twice wouldn't hurt me,

But it did.

There were no immediate repurcussions from my choices,

So of course I did it again, and again, and again.

Just a little white lie here,

And a small compromise of my beliefs there...

Those were nothing, I told myself,

In comparison to the immediate gratification that I had become addicted to.

A part of me still knew that I was wrong

And wanted to turn back before it was too late.

But a childish heart wants what it wants when it wants it,

And the tantrums of the flesh are often more than a match for the wisdom of the soul.

And so the soul is beaten into submission once again

Until at last one day in the future,

I look into the mirror and don't know who I am anymore.